Mom in progress

Mom in progress

Every woman, sans a few, dreams of being a mom. Some have motherhood thrust upon them unexpectedly. Others have it all planned. And then there are those who exhaust all means to conceive, hope, despair, hope again, get defeated for the nth time, give up, and then by some miracle, are finally able to have a child. I belong to the latter group.

Be still and you will find it

After marriage, I waited half a decade for my baby to arrive. I spent money and years on countless visits to different fertility doctors to no avail. But it was when I finally stopped trying and relaxed that I became pregnant. Eight years after my son was born, I got the best surprise of all. My daughter came into our lives and it’s been a roller coaster ride ever since. Sometimes, it’s when you are still when that happiness comes, as it did with the birth of my boy.

Patience is the key

Looking back, I just have to laugh at the raccoon look I sported when the kids were born. Sleepless nights, dazed mornings and life powered by sheer determination to do whatever it took to care for the baby (and keep my legal career on track) became the norm. The toddler years ushered new challenges: speech delay for my boy and endless tantrums or crying spells for my girl. Thankfully, we overcame those. Patience is one virtue I learned to master as a parent. I took my boy to many speech pathologists and child psychiatrists. They told me that kids develop differently. My son M spoke, read, and did math all at three years old. He took his sweet time to blossom and has been unstoppable ever since. It was the same way with my daughter. The crying spells stopped at four, and now she always sports the widest smiles.

Be firm for their future

Next came my tiger mom years when I encouraged learning and demanded excellence. It’s not for everybody but it is so between me and my kids. Being their first teacher, I taught, tested and let the kids master the subject through constant practice. Math and English are building blocks. Both must have good foundations at an early stage. Sports and arts also require persistence. A healthy parent-child relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Good study habits in place, strict but supportive parents who are ever present in their daily lives made both kids thrive. There is nothing wrong in pushing your kids to excel.

The journey continues for my family. Through tears, laughter, failures and success, we soldier on. M, who is now 15, just gifted me with another gold medal and is off to senior high.

R brought home three gold medals this year, too. But more than the awards, the best validation for me as a parent is to see the children give life their best shot all the time.

Lastly, to all the wonderful moms, let’s give ourselves a pat on the back. We are all doing a great job. The goal is to raise resilient children, lead meaningful existences and find our true purpose in doing so.