It’s a girl, Nico Bolzico shares his plan on daughter’s future suitors
By Kristelle Bechayda
Over the weekend, Nico Bolzico revealed that he and his wife Solenn Heussaff are going to have a baby girl. Though it wasn’t in their plan yet to share their baby’s gender until she is born, the soon-to-be dad couldn’t resist posting a few rules for their daughter’s future suitors.
“Nobody is good enough for my girl,” he wrote on his Instagram post. “I might be wrong, but nobody will make me change my mind. For all my friends with baby boys aged from negative two (not born yet) to five, no matter how close we are, you must know that our friendship will expire in 14 years.”
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We are having a baby girl! We were not supposed to reveal the gender until she is born, but since she is a girl, I decided to raise this topic now because there are some warnings that must be spoken to the world. First, in my head, nobody is good enough for my girl, I might be wrong, but nobody will make me change my mind. For all my friends with baby boys aged from -2 (not born yet) to 5, no matter how close we are, you must know that our friendship will expire in 14 years. Of course I am a modern dad, and I understand that some boys will want to court my girl in the future, so I already put in place a very simple and super fair system that every suitor will have to go through to have a chance to court my baby girl (I will call her baby girl even if she is 20 and she gets embarrassed in front of her friends). Stage One: The #Patato Challenge This challenge will be strictly supervised by #Pechuga and it is very simple, the boy (from now on The Suitor) and me will place a piece of broccoli one meter apart from each other and #Patato will choose, if he chooses his broccoli then we move to Stage Two Stage Two: Staring competition with #ElGato The suitor will have to compete with #ElGato on a staring competition where the one that blinks first loses. In the case that the suitor beats #ElGato then he will move to Stage Three. Stage Three: The #Pochola Effect The suitor will have to walk #Pochola every morning at 6am and every night at 9pm, for 2 weeks, missing one day or arriving late will result in elimination. If #Pochola is properly walked, including regular visits to #Oreo and #Monty (her best friends), then the suitor will have unlocked the 3 pet stages, moving on to human interaction. The suitor will sit down with me, in a dark room with one light in one table, where I will ask 100 questions and he must answer fast. Failing in one answer question will result in elimination. After, the suitor will have earned the right to take my girl on a date. The first 3 dates I will personally join in a separate table. #Wifezilla thinks I am crazy and doesnt want to be part of this! I guess she is not a modern parent as me. #BabyBolz @solenn
This message goes out to several of Nico and Solenn’s close friends like Georgina Wilson Burnand, Isabelle Daza Semblat, and Liz Uy who have little boys of their own. Despite Nico’s stern warning, cousins Georgina and Isabelle can’t help but jokingly provoke the strict dad.
“Arch’s future gf! You can’t say no!” commented Georgina, who recently gave birth to her second son, Alfie. Isabelle too had the same sentiment about her one-year-old son Baltie and Nico’s daughter.
Known for his funny nature, Nico also has a comical way of dodging his daughter’s future suitors. As early as now, the soon-to-be father already came up with a series of challenges each man will have to go through before they can date his little girl.
Dad’s ultimate test
The first stage is composed of letting their pet turtle Patato choose between the broccoli placed before Nico and the suitor. If Patato chooses that of the latter’s, the suitor can move on to the next stage.
A staring competition with ElGato, the couple’s pet cat, is in store at the second stage where the first one who blinks loses the game. If the suitor beats ElGato, he gets to proceed to the third stage where he has to consistently walk Pachola, the pet dog, every morning and night for two weeks.
If the suitor doesn’t miss any of the walks, he can move on to the next part where he has to sit down with Nico who will ask him 100 questions. If each question is answered quickly, only then can he finally take the couple’s daughter on dates, the first three of which will be supervised by Nico.
“Of course I am a modern dad, and I understand that some boys will want to court my girl in the future, so I already put in place a very simple and super fair system that every suitor will have to go through to have a chance to court my baby girl (I will call her baby girl even if she is 20 and she gets embarrassed in front of her friends),” Nico said, then shared Solenn’s thoughts on this. “#Wifezilla thinks I am crazy and doesn’t want to be part of this! I guess she is not a modern parent as me.”
It was only a few weeks ago when Nico and Solenn revealed they are expecting their first baby. A few days after the announcement, Solenn shared in detail on her blog why they decided to start their family only after three years into their marriage.
Featured image from Nico Bolzico’s Instagram account